Trick Eye

Turns out monsoon season blows. Really, really blows. For those of you who have never experienced a real monsoon season, monsoon season is a period of about 4 weeks in Korea where you have torrential downpours. Every single day. It's been pretty depressing, dreary, and detrimental to my shoe collection. Very sad.

Luckily, however, Saturday marked the last day of the 2011 monsoon season. Horray! As an aside, I think my favorite coffee shop lady has a 6th sense about monsoon season. In between making me lattes and giving me free cookies, she would nonchalantly mention that, oh yeah, Saturday would be the last day of rain. And it was. Weird. Sun is a genius ^^

To celebrate the last day of monsoon season, my friend Becki and I decided to visit the Trick Eye Museum in Hondae. We got the idea from this one, and it was completely worth a trip into Seoul. Spending a rainy afternoon taking silly pictures, mmm yes please!

Super fun! Seriously people in Korea, do it!

Cheers!
 - Christine

re: Expectations

Today is a very, very special day, and I bet you almost missed it! (Don’t worry, I’ll forgive you) One year ago today, I began documenting my Korean life on this very site. Happy birthday, Tft38P!

In celebration of this momentous occasion, let’s revisit my first real post, shall we? I distinctly remember writing my first expectations post, sitting in my parent’s basement, typing away in the one room in which my then-vintage, now-antique laptop could get internet. I remember my initial thoughts about moving to Korea centered mostly on what things to bring, what things I would miss, and I had this major initial struggle about not wanting to appear too materialistic for the whole internet to see. I ended up limiting my “things” discussion to about two sentences, and then organized the rest of my expectations and concerns about moving to the other side of the world into three seemingly-important and encompassing bullet points: language, public transportation flirting, and cake.

(Oh dear...)

1. I was actually pretty close in my initial analysis of the Korean language. For the most part, the language seems to follow rules, but trying to learn those rules is another story completely. I’ve learned to read Korean pretty well (if I do say so myself), but I really haven’t gained much vocabulary during the past twelve months. Although as I’ve come to realize, it’s amazing what a big smile and 감사합니다 (formal “Thank you”) will get you. If nothing else, people will think you’re cute for trying, which leads me to…

2. Public transportation flirting. Note, not public transportation, as in living in a city and relying solely on busses and subways for the first time in my life, no no no. Public transportation flirting.

Korean public transportation is actually much different than in the US. In the US, if a subway car is full, the doors gently close, and the leftover people wait patiently for the next train. Easy as that. In Korea, if the subway car is full, you should expect at least twenty more people to climb into the car with you. You will be touching other people, and other people will be touching you. It is awkward. If you’re lucky, the driver will be experienced and slow down gently, but if not, meh. There are too many people for you to possibly fall down anyways.

In terms of flirting, the main differences I’ve noticed would have to be the age of the flirter and the cultural assumptions about flirting. In the US, my public transportation flirting experiences generally came from people approximately my own age. In Korea, public transportation flirting typically comes in the form of very old men staring at me and occasionally asking me if I am Russian. Oh, what I would give to have my own car out here, just for a day…

3. Cake. In retrospect, I think it’s hilarious that this was one of my three biggest concerns about moving to Korea. Luckily, however, the Korean cake scene has not disappointed me. Mmm mmm mmm.

For one, there are little cake shops and bakeries on every corner, which make delicious cakes possible at any time you’re having one of those “I need cake, NOW!” moments. Although, I’ve rarely had such moments, considering I fill my cake quota pretty regularly through the coworker birthday cakes we seem to have every couple weeks. It’s great, I get to sample all the different flavors from all the different bakeries around for free! Furthermore, it turns out I do have a working oven (kind of), which I have used several times throughout the past year to remedy my sudden and insatiable cravings for baked goods.

Assa!

So in summary, despite my questionable priorities and initial concerns about moving to Korea, I was 100% correct in my assumptions that my first year in Korea would be amazing, eventful, and hilarious. Despite its quirks and absurdities, I am completely in love with this country, and am thrilled to be spending another year out here. Horray!

Cheers!
 - Christine -

E-Mart

I’d always thought Walmart was a pretty neat place. I mean, it is the one-stop shop right? Better prices, everything you could ever dream of, all available for 24 hours a day? Barring some debates about its negative impact on the world, something about globalization being totally evil, I always really liked Walmart.

Until I found E-Mart.

Turns out E-Mart trumps Walmart in so many ways, I decided it was high time to make a list about it. So here you have it, my fourth official Korea list: Reasons why E-Mart Kicks Walmart’s Ass, hereafter REKWA.

REKWA #1. Location Location Location.

If I walk out the door of my ninth floor apartment right now, I will be standing in E-mart within 3 minutes flat. I have yet to find a Walmart that convenient, anywhere. 

REKWA #2. Dry Cleaner.

In any given Walmart, you can generally expect to find a pharmacy, a photo development center, and an optometrist (bare minimum) in addition to the shopping center itself and the mandatory Subway in the entryway.

Have you ever seen a dry cleaner in a Walmart? No, how about a nail salon? Veterinary clinic? My dear E-mart has all of these things and more. Try this on for size. On the first floor, we have a food court, portrait studio, pet store, veterinarian, optometrist, dog groomer, pharmacy, photo development center, and dry cleaner. On the next floor we have a nail salon, a spa, and a hair salon, as well as a sitting area for the resulting bored children. On the bottom floor, we add in a vitamin/supplement shop and a pretty extensive wine collection. Oh yeah, and there’s the store itself too. Pretty magical, really.

REKWA #3 . Footprint.

If you look at an aerial view of Walmart, you’ll see an expansive building surrounded on all sides by acres and acres of parking lot. Not only did some developer have to cut down forests and kill wildlife in the immediate footprint of Walmart’s unreasonably wide-set main building, but also in the obnoxiously large parking lot surrounding it. And that’s not to mention the impact of increased traffic on the environment surrounding the entire complex. And no, Walmart, those scrawny little trees planted at the ends of the rows don’t make it any better.

Commence angry fist shaking… (and queue this song)

Korea, on the other hand, has become an expert at condensing buildings to fit into the increasingly dense space it has to work with. Instead of building outwards and taking up more land space it doesn’t have, E-mart decided to build up and down, condensing its store into a much more efficient three-floor design. The groceries are located on the bottom floor (two floors below ground, which keeps the foods cooler while exerting less energy), the sports supplies and clothing are located on the middle floor, and the basic home supplies are located on top. Furthermore, the expansive parking lot has been condensed into a multi-floor parking garage located on the four floors above the store, completely eliminating the need for such an absurdly wasteful sprawling lot. Oh yeah, and they threw a park on the roof, making the whole structure just a slightly elevated version of nature.

REKWA #4. Hot Babes.

In Walmart, you have friendly little yellow smiley faces plastered onto prices tags pointing you to where the sales are. In E-mart, you have smiling Korean chicks dressed in ridiculous miniskirts standing at the end of every aisle. If you’re into that kind of thing.

REKWA #5. Boxes and Bags.

I remember one particular trip to Walmart back in my college days in which the woman bagging my recently purchased items placed exactly one item into each bag. I wish I was kidding. Prior to this incident, I had been naïve to the dangers of placing shampoo and ranch dressing in the same plastic bag, lest the outside of their bottles (gasp!) touch each other, but thank goodness she was there to help me…

Commence second angry fist shaking...

In Korea, the bag situation is much less stupid. For one, you have to pay for every bag you need, about 10 cents for paper, and about 70 cents for plastic. It’s not very much money at all, but it makes you stop and question if you really need that extra bag or not. The default bag they give you is paper, and you need to gesture vigorously if you really want a plastic bag. And even then, they won’t call it a plastic bag. It’s a recycling bag.

Even better, you know the thousands and thousands of cardboard boxes they use to ship products to the big name distributors? Instead of smashing them in some back room and leaving them outside in the elements to eventually be taken to a landfill somewhere, they cart them downstairs for customers to take instead of paper or plastic bags. Lots of really, really good ideas Walmart should take note of. 

REKWA #6. Samples.

When is the last time you got a free sample at Walmart? I'm talking a real sample, not a knife demonstration, or whatever else they're waving around shouting about.  

It's hard not to end up with a stomach full of samples at E-mart. Oh, is this mandu? Sure I'll try it? And bulgogi? Why not? Maeil milk? I don't even know what you are, of course I'll try you! 

Mmmm yum! 

So there you have it. E-mart rules, and Walmart drools. And by "drools," I mean is  a horrendously wasteful company that needs to seriously reconsider some of its environmental policies before it can expect to see me as a customer again. And maybe stick with the smiley faces for a while, I don't know if the States are ready for hot greeter babes just yet... sorry!

Cheers!

 - Christine - 

Lotte World

A couple weekends ago, I went to Disney World!!!!!


How cool is it that Disney has expanded all the way out to the ROK! Truly an example of globalization at its best...

Just kidding.

This is Lotte World, the K-version of Disney World. (See the resemblance? I think there must be a case for copyright infringement somewhere, but I just can't figure it out...)

Aha...

Potential legal matters aside, Lotte World is actually a pretty awesome amusement park in a country where space for things like amusement parks is hard to come by. (Think of it this way, in the United States, we fit about 87.4 people into every square mile. In Korea, they cram in about 1,271. Yeah, things are a little tight!) To deal with the pretty significant space issue at hand, Lotte had the brilliant idea of condensing its park into a football-sized arena by stacking the park vertically into different floors. Smart, huh?



Incredibly confusing to navigate, but supper space efficient!

This visit to Lotte World (yes, this was my second time visiting Lotte World!), we spent most of our time outside in Magic island, the more adventure-oriented add-on to the park. We started out strong with the Gyro Drop, a ride that slowly lifts you up over the entire city, let's you enjoy the magnificent view for exactly three seconds, and then let's gravity do it's thing. I thought I was about to die.



We also hit up the Gyro Swing, a terrifying spinning ride, which was terrifying solely because it felt like you were about to hit the next ride over. Did I mention Lotte World has space issues?



There was also graffiti everywhere! I don't know of anyone who would think to bring a permanent marker to an amusement park, but apparently in Korea, it's what all the cool kids are doing.


Zooms and I in front of the castle at night. Darling.

I would love to tell you more about Lotte World, maybe fill you in on all the many details of our visit, but to be honest, I can't remember them. Something about being busy lately...

In short, Lotte World is not the biggest or most terrifying theme park I've ever been to (nor is it the most original...), but it is kind of awesome and well worth a visit if you find yourself in Korea wishing you were at Disney.

And no really, it's remarkable they haven't been sued yet... Good luck Lotte World!

Cheers!
- Christine -

USA v. ROK

Remember me?

I apologize for yet another blogging hiatus, but oh man, I've been busy lately! We're nearing the end of another semester at work, so I've been stuck doing extra paperwork, grading, and classroom management which leaves me just drained at the end of the day. Add to that the TEFL certification class I've been working on, and a recent custody battle I've been thrust into over this one for apparently barking too much and throwing crazy parties (진짜!?!) while I'm away. Which is almost certainly not the case, seeing as I, unlike many of the Korean dog-owners I've met, have trained my dog to do things like sit, stay (and not bark). Let's just say it's been a frustrating week...

But you know what makes frustrating weeks all better? Burger King, and Korea Lists. Assa!

Now when I was in college, I took a class about Intercultural Communication. Without going into too many specifics about any individual cultures, the course as a whole taught us to be aware of the fact that different cultures are, well, different, and that crazy as they may seem to us, they really do work out just fine.

Obviously, Korea and the USA are fundamentally different in a number of ways, and that my friends, is the theme of today's third official Korea List. USA v. ROK.

In the USA, if you go to a baseball game, you will probably expect to find hot dog and peanut vendors walking up and down the aisles of the stadium. In the ROK, you can expect to see them selling dried squid.

In the USA, if you are dashing onto a subway and the doors start to close on you, they will probably stop. In the ROK, they will crush you. K-doors are merciless.

In the USA, women can wear cleavage-showing tops, and no one will care, but if you wear short shorts and heels, people will think you're a slut. In the ROK, short shorts and heels are no big deal, but if you show any more cleavage than Hilary Clinton, watch out. They'll think you're Russian.

In the USA, we try to save energy by turning off unnecessary lights at night. In the ROK, not so much.


In the USA, at least half of young Americans can't find Iraq on a map. In Korea, my students can not only find, but also spell Liechtenstein.

In the USA, coffee shops open early in the morning, so you start caffeinating before the sun comes up. In the ROK, the bars are still open at that time, why in the world would you have a coffee shop open before 10am?

In the USA, Boy Bands stopped being popular in the 90's. In the ROK, they're still going strong.

In the USA, candy and flowers might be appropriate gifts for a favorite teacher. In the ROK, designer socks are acceptable.

In the USA, the -> <- elevator button is really just there to make you feel better, but never actually does anything. In the ROK, the button works every time, and is great for not only barring creepy people from getting into your elevator, but also crushing them. Remember, K-doors are vicious.

In the USA, people make fun of Cleveland almost as much as they make fun of Detroit. In the ROK, people think Cleveland is awesome and wear Cleveland gear proudly. Thank you Choo Shin- Soo. Sorry, Detroit, they still haven't heard of you...

In the USA, you do your makeup and hair in the morning, and then maybe check it once or twice throughout the day. In the ROK, you should carry a mirror and comb around with you at all times, just to make sure you're always looking good. Classrooms and crowded subways are especially good places to do this.

In the USA, we mark the start of a new school period with a bell/annoying buzzer. In the ROK, they play a little song.

To be continued... Have I ever mentioned I still love Korea!

Cheers!
- Christine -

Russian

This morning, I took Kimchi out for a walk before work per usual. Having accidentally pushed the snooze button one too many times, we were constrained for time and forced to take a brisk twenty-minute jaunt around the block rather than strolling and lollygagging around the park for hours, playing with every puppy we meet, like we usually do in this beautiful spring weather.

As we walked past a bus stop at around the halfway point of our walk, an oldish Korean guy saw Kimchi and bent down to pet her, still per usual. He started jabbering at me in Korean, to which I shrugged and muttered in my broken Konglish “Aniyo… ugh, Englishi?” (Translation: “No… ugh, try English?”). As in I don’t understand a word of what you’re saying. This didn’t seem to deter him, however, and he kept right on yakking. Then he leaned in uncomfortably close, pointed at my face excitedly, and exclaimed “Ooooh Russian!”

Ooooh aniyo!

Big deal, you may be thinking. Some Korean guy thinks you’re Russian, that all white people look the same. (Which is ironic considering white people think all Asian people look the same, right?) Take it as a complement and get over it….

But here’s the thing about Russian women in Korea. Kind of like all Americans in Korea are either teachers or military, all Russian women are prostitutes. Obviously. (Or so says rampant stereotyping.) So in essence, by “Ooooh Russian!,” what this creepy Korean guy really meant was “Ooooh prostitute!”

Awesome. Thank you for that.

Trying to politely mediate the situation, I replied “Aniyo, Miguk.” (Translation: "No, American.”) As in your last comment was rude and this conversation is quickly becoming sketchy.

Apparently not one for taking a hint, however, he continued blabbering at me. “Ooooh face Russian! Good Russian style!”

Maybe this is just me, but if I were to describe my wardrobe of GAP cardigans and jeans in 3 words, prostitute would not be one of my top choices. Also not death metal, biker gang, or grunge. Just, no.

After suffering maybe 20 seconds of increasingly uncomfortable semi-conversing with the Korean guy, I snatched Kimchi away, bid him “Annyeong” and booked it out of there. This was certainly not my first encounter with an awkward Korean guy, nor was it my first time being accused of being Russian, but for whatever reason this particular conversation left me especially offended. Being mistaken for a prostitute just puts a little damper in your day, doesn’t it? Kind of makes me want to grab a vodka and a babushka.

Cheers!
- Christine -

Wrong

This past Saturday, like most other Saturdays, Kimchi and I spent a couple hours playing with other puppies in Jung Dong Park. Every Saturday around 2pm, this otherwise empty park turns into a veritable puppy cafe (minus the cafe part), with dogs, their owners, and whoever else happens to be in the park running crazy all over the place. It's great, and much easier than dragging Lil' Kim all the way into Seoul to socialize with other dogs.

Now dogs in Korea are, dare I say, quirky, for a couple of reasons. For one, most dogs in Korea are tiny. As I've explained before, most people in Korea live in apartments and don't have such things as space or yards for big dogs to run around in. Makes perfect sense. Solid reasons for sticking to Yorkies, Poodles, and Schnauzers.

Sometimes, however, Lil' Kim and I encounter a big dog and it's kind of awesome. After doing a double take to make sure I'm not imagining said big dog (I swear, they're really rare!!!), I'm one of the few people who will go up and play with them. Brave little Kimchi too. In contrast, a lot of people who have been living in the ROK for a while are used to just the 5 pound puppies and don't know how to react to the bigger guys and just back away...



Just look at this big guy. He was super sweet and friendly! Except that he drooled on me, which is not particularly friendly at all. (Taemu, the little guy under my feet liked him too)

So most dogs in Korea are small, check. Now for my second reason why dogs in Korea are quirky. Their owners think they are people. Not so much in how they treat them (although that certainly happens too), but more so in the clothes and makeup they wear. You read me right, makeup.



Look at the little white guy in the middle. Yes, the one wearing matching shoes AND blush. Only in Korea...

So wrong!

- Christine -

K-Perm

Disclaimer: I try to write gender-neutral posts whenever possible, but in this instance, I'm tremendously skewed towards the feminine side. I'm sorry, men. If you find yourself jittery reading this post, go obtain a beer, turn on ESPN, and try to breathe. Maybe watch this video a couple times. Or just X out of the window now. Consider yourself warned.

For those of you brave enough to still be reading, I got a much-needed hair cut for the first time in seven months over the weekend. I headed down to Gangnam Sunday afternoon to meet a shall-remain-nameless friend (*cough cough Zooms) who was running about 4 hours late. Typical. Having time to spare, and having spotted an H&M sign on my bus-ride in, I decided to wander around and explore. Maybe do some shopping. My wardrobe is kind of desperately in need of some spring-y additions...

So off I wandered until I stumbled upon a Juno Hair Salon on the main street. I'd avoided hair salons since my arriving in Korea for the simple reason that my hair is very thin and fine. Something not at all common among Koreans. I'd heard horror story after horror story of Waegooks like me going into salons, only to leave 40 minutes later with over-razored and layered hairstyles that felt awful and made them look kinda bald. These styles and techniques work well on thicker Korean hair, just not mine. So I stayed a safe distance away from all hair-cutting establishments, trimming my own bangs for seven months, and vowing to let my hair grow out for the year.

But then I found a Juno Hair Salon. Without exception, Juno is the only salon I've consistently heard good things about in terms of dealing with Western hair. I knew they had a branch of Juno somewhere in Bucheon near my apartment, but to be quite honest, I'd been far too lazy to go out looking for it. Having it there right in front of me in Gangnam, however, was incredibly convenient, so in I went.

Of course I had no idea what kind of haircut I wanted, seeing as my finding the salon was just a bit of spontaneous luck. As I glanced through the pictures in one of their hairstyle guidebook-things, I saw a curly style I thought was fun. I have wanted curly hair since literally the age of 7, but never had the guts to go through with it. Until now. My hair has been every color in the rainbow, why not curly too?

And so I got my first (gasp!) perm. Little did I know that I would be getting a digital perm, a perming technique invented in Korea (How culturally appropriate of me). The main difference between a K-perm and a normal perm is that Koreans use both heat and chemicals to make your hair curly, whereas a normal perm just uses chemicals. The resulting K-perm creates soft waves nothing like the gravity-defying spiral ringlets of the 80's. Which is good. The 80's had their place... in the 80's.

So it took years to build up the nerve to do it, but I finally have curly hair! Horray!



Oh, and Kimchi's hair is growing back nicely too. Did I ever mention, never shave a Yorkie?

Cheers!
- Christine -

UMMS

After months of waiting, I would like to present you with my second official Korea List: Unfortunately Misspelled and/or Mistranslated Signs, hereafter UMMS.

UMMS are a part of daily life here in the ROK. The number of Koreans speaking English is steadily increasing, many children attending English-only pre-schools and kindergartens (raising questions about how much this next generation of Koreans is really learning about Korea, but that’s a rant for another day). English is chic, and more and more stores are showing their flair (and willingness to accept foreign business) by incorporating English words and phrases onto their signs.

Unfortunately, a good number of these well-intentioned English signs just arent’t quite right and could have benefited tremendously by a quick look-over by a native English speaker. Of which there are over a million in Korea. All of whom would be willing to spell-check such things for maybe the cost of a beer, tops. (If you are Korean, and about to put up a sign in English, please, please let me help you!)

Here are a few of my favorite UMMS from the past seven months, in no particular order:

UMMS #1. Hoers.

I discovered this gem at the Busan International Film Festival back in November. "Hoers" was a valiant effort by the festival's organizers to inform the foreign population in attendance about the schedule, but unless they intended to warn the audience that people would be ho-ing at certain times, (Operating ho-ers) the sign just didn't make sense.



UMMS #2. Origin.

More of a UMMM (Unfortunately Misspelled and/or Mistranslated Menu) than a true UMMS, but still a classic. In this particular pizza restaurant, they allow you to choose your own crust. Terrific, right? Sadly, their list of crust choices somehow got lost in translation, leaving you to select from Gold, Nude, Cookie, Origin, or Cheese Cap. I would venture to guess that Gold is a fairly normal, well-baked dough, cookie would be appropriate for a dessert-pizza, and Cheese Cap is the same as stuffed-crust. Nude, however, has me baffled. And Origin? Oh my. Any native English-speaking person could have added the essential "-al" in all of .25 seconds, helping this poor menu make much more sense almost instantly.



UMMS #3. Yoyr.

This grammatically incorrect UMMS comes from a design shop down the street from my apartment. To begin with, "yoyr" is not a real word. Sorry, Korea. Secondly, even the corrected "Drop your old design to the trash..." doesn't make much sense. The preposition you're looking for was "into" or even just simply "in". E for Effort, though.



UMMS #4. Moning.

I found this gem in the front of little cafe on the opposite side of Seoul. Kudos for catching their own spelling mistake, but their correction still made me giggle.



UMMS #5. Interrior.

Another example from Bucheon. Exactly how many r's does the word "Interrior" have?



UMMS #6. Chiness.

The Chiness restaurant is infamous in Bucheon. Not only did they write "Chiness" (perhaps a combination of Chinese and Chess?) on their sign above the window, but also directly on their window, and even behind the window on some decorative wall installation. They're absolutely rocking the misspelling thing. It's such a blatant and ridiculous misspelling that I would go to the Chiness Restaurant just to say I'd been to the Chiness Restaurant. Brilliant.



UMMS #7. You baked my mother?

This final UMMS comes from a cute little cafe I pass with Kimchi everyday on the way to the park. I understand what they're trying to say. Homemade pies baked with Mom's heart and soul. Sadly, however, this particular translation sounds quite gruesome and a little like they baked my poor mother into a pie :(



In conclusion, Korea, I love you. But please, please let me help you spell and translate things!

Cheers!
- Christine -

Kimchi

As you all know, tensions are high between the two Koreas. The North claims the South provoked them by continuing military exercises, the South claims the North are a bunch of insane and unpredictable crazies. Meanwhile, the U.S. is currently sending an aircraft carrier to the region, and China is continuing to sit on it's ass doing nothing.

But on this particular day, I could care less about the situation going on between the two Koreas. I bought a puppy!



Meet Kimchi!

Admittedly, buying Kimchi was one of the more spontaneous decisions of my life (aside from, say, moving to Korea). I had no idea when I woke up yesterday morning that I would be a puppy momma by the end of the day, but I have no regrets about the new addition to my life.

Let me provide some background. Dogs in Korea are tiny. Really, really small. I suppose it only makes sense, given that the majority of the population lives in fairly small apartments, so why wouldn't they sell pets sized appropriately for the living situations, right? I can't tell you the number of dogs I've seen in purses, with little outfits, and my personal favorite, dyed fur (Poor things! Can you imagine a poodle with a purple tail? How humiliating!). While I'd had my phase in high school of thinking I wanted a tiny ankle-biter of a dog, maybe a Pappillon or Poodle, I later realized that I wanted a bigger dog, more along the lines of a Collie or Sheepdog. Thus, I spent the past four months glancing past the tiny Korean puppies I met, knowing that I would wait and rescue one from a shelter in the States like any responsible, sensitive, patient person would do...

And then I met Kimchi. I was walking through Emart with Alex just looking for a bottle of wine. As we walked past the pet store in the front of the store, we couldn't help but notice a particularly cute little baby puppy in the window, tearing apart a toy stuffed Pooh. Having time to kill and nothing better to do, we walked into the store and started playing with her. She was so excited to see us, jumping up and down in her cage wanting us to hold her. We even made a little game out of it, jumping together. She was just so unreasonably adorable! She looked like a Kimchi.

We made our rounds in the store, looking at all the calmer puppies and imagining them in my life, but we kept coming back to the feisty baby Kimchi in the window. I contemplated buying her right then and there, and then we translated the price tag, and I decided to pass. I liked her a lot, but maybe not that much. As she watched us start to talk quieter and edge towards the door, she got offended and quiet and walked to the furthest corner of her cage and started ripping apart a flower pillow twice the size of her. We walked out empty handed.

We continued downstairs to the wine department. As we roamed around the store, debating between the Syrah and Pinot Noir, we kept thinking about the baby Kimchi upstairs and the ridiculousness of me getting a puppy in Korea. What would I do when I was at work? How would I train her? How would I get her back to the States? So many questions! We decided on a Syrah and headed back to my apartment.

But when I walked in my front door, my whole apartment seemed so empty. I haven't decorated it much, and have assumed for the past four months that that emptiness came from my lack of posters and Christmas lights. But I realized then that it was empty because of my lack of Kimchi. A little puppy trying to jump up my stairs, waddling around under my coffee table. The thought was just too irresistible. Kimchi and I were meant to be. I went straight back to the pet store and bought her.

She's a sweetheart, still in the exploratory phase of her new life in my apartment. She can't get up my stairs, she can't get up on my coffee table, she can't even jump on my mattress lying on the floor in my upstairs loft. It was the easiest apartment puppy-proofing process in the world, I swiffered the floor and made sure the internet cable was propped up 10 inches off the floor (She's definitely a chewer, and I would rather she not accidentally electrocute herself in my absence). She's so excited to have space and someone to play with for the first time in her life. Kimchi is feisty and hilariously tiny, but perfect for me.

So there you go. I am now the proud mama of a baby Yorkie, who I guess you could call my first real Korean souvenir. Who knows, next week I might start buying couple's outfits and wearing a visor. We'll see... I'm pretty overwhelmed with this one part of Korean culture for now, so I might wait a while for the rest...

- Christine -

ps. Puppy advice would be GREATLY appreciated :)

UDKP

Blarg. I’ve been sick for going on two weeks now, which has inspired me to write my first (of hopefully many to come) “Korea lists”.

Unnecessarily Delicate Korean Products (hereafter UDKP).

I never thought of myself as much of a badass, but apparently growing up amid the grizzly American spirit in the bitter cold of the rugged Midwest has made me a lot tougher than I ever realized. The following UDKP’s demonstrate how much of a badass I have thus far in Korea proven to be:

UDKP #1. Medicine.

Since I’ve been sick for a while now, it seems natural to start off my list with this particular UDKP. Medicine in Korea is cheap and easy to come by. Last Tuesday, realizing I felt horrible, I decided to go to the clinic around the corner from my apartment and get checked out. The whole visit took 8 minutes, tops. I walked in, they looked at my passport, and sent me into the doctor’s office. The doctor, never leaving her chair, asked me in broken English maybe 5 questions and wrote down just as many medicines for me on a prescription form. I thanked her, and walked back out to the lobby. The bill was ten thousand won. About nine U.S. dollars.

I headed two flights down to the pharmacy. I handed the man behind the counter my prescription slip, and five minutes and seven thousand won later, I walked out with nine individually packaged sets of pills. The convenience is striking. Too bad the meds didn’t really do much. I guess in the world of Korean medicine, you get what you pay for, and you’re not paying much at all. Where are the real antibiotics? Penicillin? Dayquil? Nyquil? Even real Advil? I promise I can handle the real thing, Korea! I don’t care about loopy side effects and the potential for addiction. I just want medicines that make me better!

For this reason, Korean medicines are definitely an Unnecessarily Delicate Korean Product.

UDKP #2. Toothpaste.

Brushing your teeth in the U.S. is not supposed to be a particularly pleasant experience. Take Listerine, for instance. Listerine burns. Swooshing Listerine for the full thirty seconds should instill a sense of accomplishment. The stinging, caustic pepperminty flavor is overpowering, and it’s that overpowering-ness that lets you know the Listerine is doing its job. Many a toothpaste has followed in Listerine’s footsteps, too. (Also altoids…) No pain no gain, right?

I understand toning down overpowering tooth-cleaning products for little children by making them a little sweeter and less intimidating. I’m talking the kind in the Spongebob-shaped bottles, where the toothpaste is blue and has sparkles. Regular toothpaste for adults, however, should not contain sugar. In fact, that seems to me to be one of the worst possible ingredients to put in toothpaste. The whole point of brushing your teeth is to get the sugar off. Nevertheless, Korean toothpaste tastes like straight mint-flavored sugar. I understand it’s less painful, probably less corrosive, whatever, but I have yet to feel like my teeth are fully clean using Korean toothpaste. Furthermore, so many of my kids have dental problems, cavities, and so on, that I can’t help but wonder if it’s because they’re brushing their teeth too much… with sugar… Oh Unnecessarily Delicate Korean toothpaste…

UDKP #3. Face wash.

As a loyal St. Ives Apricot Scrub user since middle school, I expect to feel tiny abrasive apricot bits rubbing against my skin when I wash my face. Sloughing off dead skin should feel exactly as rough as that word sounds. You know your skin is truly clean when it starts to feel numb, right?

Of course there is no such product in Korea. Face washes and skin care products in general are mild and nonabrasive. They leave your skin feeling soft but not raw and (in my book) fully clean as I have come to understand clean for the past eight or so years. And loofahs or any other such body-exfoliating means have proven hard to come by as well. Is it too much to ask for a satisfyingly abrasive cleaning product? Just another Unnecessarily Delicate Korean Product, I suppose.

UDKP #4. Dryers.

I lucked out with my apartment. It’s roomy, modern, has a loft, and is in a great location. Imagine my excitement that in addition, my apartment also had a washing machine with a (gasp!) dryer, I was told, a rarity in this country.

Too bad “dryer” in Korea is code for “spin faster.” You put your clothing in the dryer and they come out stretched out. And still wet. False advertising coming from a device called a “dryer.” Heat is what dries things, or at least I’m assuming that was the rationale behind putting hand driers in every bathroom in the country instead of paper towels...

Dryers. Definitely an Unnecessarily Delicate Korean Product.

UDKP #5. Badminton.

I don’t understand badminton. For goodness sakes, I didn’t even know how to spell the word until recently. In all actuality, it’s one of those “sports” I considered a “game” prior to moving here, lumped in with the likes of darts, pool, and bowling. Yet I can’t even tell you how many of my kids claim that badminton is one of their favorite sports?

Where’s the contact and potential for serious injury? The 300 pound men slamming into each over and over again just to throw a dinky little un-ball shaped ball to one another? Where’s the strategy and sheer endurance it takes to run back and forth on a court for 45 minutes straight? Where’s the speed and energy it takes for a tiny piece of rubber to shatter a pane of glass? Certainly not in a game of badminton. Not so much a product, per se, but certainly unnecessarily delicate and Korean.

UDKP #6. Chocolate.

No surprise here, that chocolate would make my list of Unnecessarily Delicate Korean Products. I take my chocolate very seriously, and thus far, Korean chocolate has not impressed me. For one, I like my chocolate so dark it’s considered a vegetable, yet I have a hard time finding even regular 55% dark chocolate here. They try to make milk chocolate, but their ratios are all off, more milk than chocolate. And even more excessively sugared than the toothpaste. Probably the Unnecessarily Delicate Korean Product that disappoints me the most.

So take that Unnecessarily Delicate Korean Products. I like powerful medicines that work and toothpaste that burns. I like exfoliating products that feel like I’m sanding my face, and dryers that use heat. I like sports that involve injury, and real dark chocolate. If that makes me a total American badass, then so be it.

To be fair, Korea has its share of admittedly non-delicate products as well. Food, for one (Especially Kimchi which is non-delicate for a variety of reasons). Nevertheless, there are lots of watered-down, wussy, and well, delicate products here that drive me crazy! And by drive me crazy I mean I think they’re hilarious.

Finishee!

-Christine -

Golf

In Korea, there are lots of places you can go to rent out a private room for a couple of hours for entertainment purposes. And I, for once in my life, don't mean that in a strictly "That's what she said" kind of way...

Prior to this weekend, I knew of DVD bongs and Norabongs. DVD bongs are where you rent out a little room with a huge couch and pick out a dvd to watch in your little room. Almost like a private movie theater, except with more snuggle-friendly chairs. I think last time I went, we crammed 9 of us into a room to watch Iron Man... Good times! Norabongs, on the other hand, are private karaoke rooms where you can go to sing karaoke with your friends without a mess of bar patrons you don't know hearing you. Fantastic for people who are either a) shy about their own singing voice, or b) have no desire to hear drunk people butchering Don't Stop Believing over and over and over (and over) again.

However, this weekend I discovered another option for non-sketch private room entertainment -- Virtual golf.

To begin with, I've never played golf before in my life. I've played putt putt a bazillion times, but even on my best days I'm only decent. We decided to try virtual golf, however, when we found ourselves stuck on a rainy day on the opposite side of Seoul with not a whole lot to do. And it was a blast!

We spent the first half hour trying to teach me how to swing a golf club correctly, you know, learning the correct form and all that...


Yes, I'd obviously never even held a real golf club before...


My golf stance


My swing, and...


follow through.

We discovered a couple very important things throughout the game.
1. The machine measures your hit somehow using light, so it you maybe happen to take a picture with a flash when you should be swinging, you can trick the machine into thinking you just swung (albeit, really poorly), even though you didn't. We maybe spent a good ten minutes at one point playing around with this discovery.
2. When the machine tells you exactly which club to use, you should probably follow its advice...
3. I can hit a ball 84 meters! I guess according to a machine where the ball goes all of 15 feet before slamming into a wall.

Even though we stopped trying at hole 15, neither of us having gotten a single hole, it was such a fun time, and I'm really looking forward to playing a real game of golf someday, probably when I'm back in the states.

Golf...

Even though it was another really fun weekend, it definitely had its sad undertones. Our whole reason for being up in Seoul was for Kevin, Liz, and Chris's going away weekend. It's strange in Korea how ephemeral friend groups are (For those of you studying for the GRE, you're welcome). Almost everyone comes out here with the intention of staying in Korea for a year, maybe two tops, and then moving back home to tackle finding a REAL job, going back to grad school, and facing responsibility again. I met Kevin, Liz, and Chris near the end of their contracts and I'm still very much at the beginning of mine, so I got to know them for all of two months before they left. If I stay for a second year, which I'm increasingly tempted to do, almost every single foreigner I've met out here so far will have moved back home and left me here. And by the time I do end up leaving, I'm sure I'll be leaving a new, yet-to-be-met group of friends as well. It's the nature of living in Korea, as soon as you've met people, they leave. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it does keep you on your toes and always meeting new people. Regardless, it was a kind of sad weekend, and I hope I have the chance to visit them all again in the States and England :)

I guess such is life. Also, if anyone has any advice about my golf swing, please please let me know!

- Christine -

Pizza

You know how you eat a lot of takeout right before vacation, so you don’t have all sorts of food just sitting around spoiling while you’re away? Well, next week is 추석 (Chuseok), the Korean Thanksgiving holiday, and one way or another I am getting out of Bucheon for the week. My plan as of now is to go to Jeju Island, the “Hawaii of Korea”, with my lovely friend Uzoma, but I suppose that kind of depends on my ARC coming in the next few days. This damn card has been such a hassle and is now over a week late, and as such, the immigration office and I are not really on friendly terms anymore (**shakes fists angrily).

But on to happier things, like food! Last night after work I stopped by a pizza place a block from here and picked up a pizza for dinner. Sounds like a fairly safe food choice, right?

Surprise!

# 1. Pizza in Korea usually has corn. Tucked slyly under the cheese so you don’t notice it hiding there at first. Kinda strange…

# 2. Pizza in Korea comes with a side of not garlic sauce, but pickles. No joke, you open the little side container expecting some garlic butter for your crust-dunking pleasure, only to find pickles. Still throws me off me every time.

# 3. Pizza in Korea comes wrapped up in a box with a little bow tied around it. It takes them longer to tie the perfect little bow than it does to make the whole pizza.

Always something silly. Bienvenido a 부천!

- Christine -